I’m a feminazi. I laugh at men, but not at their stupid jokes. I want to take away their porn—erm, sorry, I mean “free speech.” I won’t fuck them or flirt with them. I don’t find them interesting. I think they look like mutants. I hate…I hate…
Let’s talk about hate.
Men have raped me, not once, not twice, not three times…Turns out they did this to most women. And I’ve been a whore, that young woman who couldn’t afford food until she found some sweet guy who offered to put his dick in my ass in exchange for groceries. Drink. Drink enough and you can do it too.
Men, when I leave my house, will always do one of these things: harass me on the street, ogle me up and down with a rapey stare, or crash into me on the sidewalk. Hey, have you noticed that when women walk past men, women move out of his way? Yup. I call this cute game “dodge asshole,” but some women would more aptly call this “make way for your master.”
The hairy man is telling me again that I’m a hairy lesbian because I have body hair in all the same places that he does, minus the beard. Now the mutant guy is telling me I look like a man because I don’t plaster my face with chemical colors—suddenly I look like human being, not a clown. My ass is too big, says this boyfriend. No, I like juicy asses and your nice “budunkadunk,” says that boyfriend. No, it’s too small, said another boyfriend. They all liked my mind: intelligence is sexy. One wanted to fuck my brain, he said. He wanted to fuck me unconscious, he said. No matter what, I am some man’s kinky fetish, and he’ll let me know. The last one, my employer, said that I’m a butch lesbian (or did he say bull dyke?) and he finds that sexy—he’ll get down my pants, he promised. Oh, hey, thanks boss! Now I can quit my job in a recession and struggle to pay the bills again or put up with this shit. (I bet all this stuff happens to men all the time—daily, like it does to me). Maybe I can find some sweet guy to stick his dick in my ass again if I lose this job—my boss says my feminism is FAR too radical because I refuse to fuck him.
Did I mention the boyfriend who tried to kill me for not being a virgin, or the 31-year-old who locked me in a closet when I was 16 for trying to leave him? Did I tell you about the oodles of Nice Guys giving me great advice: “then why’d you stay with him?” Let’s repeat this again: one tried to kill me, and the other locked me in a closet for trying to leave him. He told me if I left, he’d kill me. Why didn’t I just leave him? Better question: how did you manage to be alive today? You’d better recognize. I’m a high-functioning “dodge asshole” machine by now. Throw me a man with a bat, a rapist, a groper, a creepy boss. Throw me a sadist, a pervert, a john, or a pedophile. I dodge that shit like magic.
Freud says this is all because I want to fuck my dad. My ex-shrink said it’s cause I have too much trauma, that’s why (why are the rapists never in therapy, only the raped?) God says this is all cause I do not worship him and his son. You know what that guy on the internet just said? He said it’s cause I’m just like Hitler.
Yeah, let’s go there too, then.
Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Lenin, wait wait! Just look at this list of dictators and tyrants. All men. Where it says “regime type” I want to edit and put: patriarchy. I laugh in men’s faces. Obviously it’s just like killing 20 million people. I’m such a feminazi.
And then the army they send you: All men or almost all men. You know what armies of men do to the women in the territories they invade? Well, do you? Don’t play stupid now. Everyone knows this.
9/11: Was it Al Qaeda or an inside job? You know who it was for sure. It was men.
Every school shooting ever: Men.
Throwing acid in women’s faces: Men again.
Stoning women to death: that’s the menz.
Kidnapping brides: Men.
Rape rape rape rape rape RAAAAAPE: Men.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki: Men built nuclear weapons, men started that war, men dropped those nukes.
Why are women 70% of the people living in poverty globally? Well, then, who has all the money? That’s men again.
And 30% of women globally are beaten or sexually assaulted; that’s a lot of PTSD. Freud, I think I have found the penis you were always going on about: men did this.
Al Qaeda: Men
The Muslim Brotherhood: Men.
The Government of the United States until wild women protested: Rich, white, landowning men who could read. Did you know that these men gave the right to vote to all former slave men before they gave this right to “free” women?
Let’s talk about who really is on top in this world: Men.
Who’s really on top in bed: Men. Yes, I just went there. They’re fucking us unconscious.
And I hate them.
I want to stop their wars and take away their guns. I want to stop their rape and take away their porn. I want to stop their hegemony and take away their seats in all governments globally. Because they can’t handle it. They just bomb everything, rape everyone, and then hoard loads of trees with numbers written on them so that they can exchange them for toys. For fucking toys. There is nothing else that much money will buy, and goddess knows you cannot buy divinity, though they try. People are dying of starvation and I see them—these men with their flattened, painted trees—whipping out cash to buy the latest iPhone, assembled courtesy of the global proletariat in a factory in a third world country, plastic extracted from our mother Earth to create this little electronic contraption, cause we need more shit. That’s what we need. More random shit while others starve. Who organized this fucking system? Men again!
And what about my sisters? What the hell happened to women? Where were we? You mean to tell me this whole shit situation was created by penis-having dudebros? The wars. The poverty. The inequality. The exploitation of the planet. The countless broken souls because they have been violated in some way. Yeah, men created this system. Women, since patriarchy took hold, were hanging on by a thread. We tried to revolt a few times and were given the male treatment: rape, murder, imprisonment. All patriarchal societies, historically, had excessively more laws on their books regarding what women could and could not do than they did for males. For example, women couldn’t leave the house here, and women couldn’t own property there, and women didn’t even have NAMES there, but were just called “jacob’s-woman” for example. How lovely! Then over there, women were literally and legally slaves—every single one of them, and their “husbands” (ehem, owners) had the right to chop off their body parts and sell them. Their husbands were allowed to legally murder them. Didn’t women revolt? One such example of women not obeying this shit is The Burning Times. Female genocide—femicide—was the result. Thanks to femicide, there are 50 million women missing on this planet just right now, not counting history. Makes us easier to dominate when our numbers are reduced. We’ll be here all day and I’ll vomit if I continue, but here is our herstory.
Let me tell you how much I HATE MEN!
Let me tell you about the part of me that longs for total liberation as a human being and doesn’t think men have this plan for me and my sisters. Let me tell you about how this evil feminazi laughs in their faces when they call me a bitch. Let me tell you about my traitor ways: I will not have sex with them. I will not touch them. I do not trust them. When I walk out my door, and another one comes rubbing up on me, cooing into my ear, trying to get the hairy, make-up free radical feminist to fuck him, I want to pummel his face with my fist. The rage of a cat backed into a corner. Cause I know what men do, what they are, what they have done throughout patriarchal history. I know they erased the records, and only now are we digging up the truth. We’re finding out that god used to be a woman, a Goddess, and she didn’t think women should obey their husbands. Oh, contraire! We used to have peaceful matriarchies all over the world!
And I laugh. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh because I am too tired to explain this again and again and again.
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." – Margaret Atwood
Read some herstory. Read some herstory. Read some herstory. And while you’re at it, have a long hard look at the news. This is our point in time on that patriarchal timeline of hell on Earth. Our generation is the continuation of that horrific tale.
Then you can tell me what hate looks like.
“For women, getting angry is socially unacceptable, even when the anger is over violence, discrimination, misogyny, and other forms of oppression. Anger is unacceptable because angry women are women in touch with their passion and power, especially in relation to men, which threatens the entire patriarchal order. It’s unacceptable because it forces men to confront the reality of male privilege and women’s oppression and their involvement in it, even if only as passive beneficiaries. Women’s anger challenges men to acknowledge attempts to trivialize oppression with “I was only kidding." And women’s anger is unacceptable to men who look to women to take care of them, to prop up their need to feel in control, and to support them in their competition with other men. When women are less than gracious and good-humored about their own oppression, men often feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, at a loss, and therefore vulnerable." – Allan G. Johnson
And when you say, “Why do you spend so much time being angry like this? Why don’t you be more positive. Don’t think about such sad things.”
Yeah, I will remember that when it’s you being raped. When it’s you being beaten. When it’s you who hasn’t enough to eat and are joining the global women in poverty. I’ll remember that your recommendation was apathy.
No. Instead I’ll remember when women were warriors. We are warriors.
“So how do you manage to stay sane with all this on your mind?”
I don’t. That’s the simple truth. I’m a little bit disturbed all of the time, and extremely horrified the rest of the time—I’m awake to see that the world is a fucking madhouse.
Peace and tranquility is found when I am with my sisters, only my sisters. This is why female-only space is forbidden. That’s where we recharge, get our strength. That’s where women help each other, lend a hand, lift each other up.
Loving women is the most hateful thing you can do to men.
And never forget:
More on matriarchy:
More on goddess hestory:
But you are a NICE GUY? Okay, for you: